Hello substackers, subs, subheads, stackqueens etc.
I’ve been unemployed for over 100 days. The way I’m currently living is similar to Rousseau during his forest years: sitting, lying down, puttering, pondering. My big Eureka during this time has been this: the key to true philosophical contentment is to give yourself as many tasks as you can and take as long as humanly possible to do them (I expect this revelation to be similarly culture shaking to Rousseau’s The Social Contract). For example, instead of biking to Trader Joe’s (10 minutes), one might consider walking to Trader Joe’s (30 minutes), or even walking very, very slowly to Trader Joe’s (50 minutes), or even going to a Trader Joe’s so very far away from your home (New Jersey, 3 hours). If you find my advice less valuable than the theses of The Social Contract, I implore you to consider your misogyny…
In video games (which, YES, girls can play), the main quest must be fulfilled with the least convenient path possible. To find the girl, you must go to the herbalist who lost his goat, find the goat, ask him to consult the spirits who need you to sacrifice a baby, decide if your morals are flexible enough to kill a baby, go back to the herbalist who has somehow lost his goat again, decide to fuck it and kill the goat, and do so much more stuff until finally you find the girl (by the time you get to her she is probably dead). So yes, my axiom is 100% taken from the game structure of The Witcher 3 which I am replaying for maybe the fifth time! I am engineering quests for myself like my name is CD Projekt Red (inside gamer reference). I’m doing main quests and oh baby am I doing side quests (saving people’s wives, seducing people’s wives, kissing people’s wives, etc.) Lucky for all you Substack freaks (just my friends I’m guessing…and only the real ones at that…) this Substack is one of my side quests now :)
I haven’t played that many video games (I’m a girl…remember??) and I don’t only show partiality to The Witcher because Geralt is hot. The Witcher’s structure is just how I most comfortably live my own life. The game is open world but there are very clear directives: you must go to this place to do this thing and on the way you can look around if you want but no presh! God of War is similar but you just play along to a story that only has one outcome. In The Witcher, your dialogue choices trigger different endings. Are you a good dad? Do you end up alone? Seeing the consequences of your actions! This is something everyone loves and feels good about, right…
In Zelda: Breath of the Wild (I have only dabbled in this game) you are given no directives. It’s just you and the world, look around, you literally have to, no instructions, PRESH. This freedom is just too much for me!! Meanwhile a game like Super Mario strips you of all free will. You have to go forwards. You have to jump the flag pole. You have to save the princess. This is not enough freedom for me!!
Unemployment time has felt a lot like Zelda and having a job feels a lot like The Witcher. I have never been one to leave my house with no destination, just to be around for the sake of being around. These little contrived quests are my easiest path to being an actual open world user. Anyways hope this was insightful in some way…even if you’re not a gamer at heart sometimes it’s easier to understand your life approach through a little on-screen proxy. Ok here’s my slay gamer shirt to wrap up the first post :)
Can you speak to your proclivity for running amok for coins in Lego Jurassic World a few years ago? Curious minds want to know.